Now You See Me, Now You Don't

The circle is inevitable. The circle is coming to an end. You meet me. You say you want to see me. You want to get to know me. You say you’ll stick around. You say you can handle it, you’re different from the rest. You won’t be the one to leave when things get difficult. Give it a little bit. You’ll get to know me. I open my soul, I allow vulnerability to happen because you say it’s okay. Nothing will change. That you will still love me through the mess. No, nothing will change. Oh, you’re so strong. You’ve handled so much. You have a good soul. Trust me. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to speak your mind. Don’t hide it any longer. Take a break. You are so loved. You have so much good in your life. You need to do better. You need to care more. The mess gets messy. I become insane. I talk too much. I let my thoughts out. I’m being dramatic. I’m not making any sense. I’m creating the problems. I am the problem. I am broken. I am too sensitive and emotional. Carrying the pieces yet again. Because you said it’s okay to relax. I am reckless. Hurt people hurt people. That’s how it goes right? Take a second look. Am I being selfish? To let you see how broken I am. To get a glimpse behind the wall. It’s insanity. Now you see me. Do you like what you see? No, that’s what I thought. It’s hard. Hard to see people you care about hurting. Hard to see me drown? I didn’t ask you to save me. You asked to see me. To let you in to see the real me. Now that you see her. You don’t want to any longer. I see the signs. You are fading out of my life slowly but surely. Shorter replies, no more phone calls. This always happens. I should be used to it. But you gave me hope again. I let you see me. Now you know who I really am behind it all. You don’t want to deal with the broken. I let you see me. Now you see me, now you don’t.

But here we are again.